An Contrarian

Fuck you Grammar Girl -- I know it is supposed to be "A Contrarian"  and I know the "k" sound is a consonant sound requiring the article "a" rather than "an", but I'm being contrary and can you explain to me why the fuck my spell checker says that I'm misspelling Contrarian?  Fucking contrary spell checker.

Capitalization

Dear Grammar Girl,

I was wondering if you capitalize Capitalist -- or is it capitalist?  You know how much I like your quick and dirty tips.

Thanks,

U.S. Wanker

Dear Wanker,

The correct grammatical answer depends on  whether you are a fascist grammarian or a communist grammarian.  Right leaning grammarians capitalize Capitalist because Capital is just Capital and runs the Capital which is also a Capital achievement.  The leftward grammarian goes with the lower case because the only true C is the capital Communist C.  Now if we are talking about socialism, the right will be lower case and the left will be $ocialism.  Don't ever let anyone tell you that politics isn't all about grammar.

Sincerely,

Grammar Girl

Mixed Metaphors

Yes, I know I mixed my fucking metaphor.  I went from a ride metaphor to a baseball metaphor, but I did it anyway.  So sue me, Grammar Girl -- or maybe just give me one of your "Quick and Dirty Tips" and I'll give it a good long hard ride, before I knock it out of the park.