Hamlet

In case you didn't take any Shakespeare -- this is pure plagarism from Hamlet, Act I, Scene IV.  The donkphants have a very biopic view of solutions to problems and need to stretch their imagination a bit, even if it takes the words of a  fictitious Danish Prince written by a guy that's been dead for four hundred years.  Doubt it will help.  Kind of an all around skull fuck.

Henry Miller

The Air Conditioned Nightmare is a nod to the 20th Century's greatest American Writer, Henry Miller.  Miller personifies the ideals of The American Orgy even though most of his orgies were in France.  At least he wrote about them in English.