Hamlet Quotes

I realized that most people don't have a clue about Hamlet (he is the guy, usually in a cape toting Yorick's skull and responsible for the "north by northwest" quote link that may have brought you here -- in Shakespeare-ese it means I'm only pretending to be crazy), yet I realized something in one of those convoluted moments that is my brain -- Shakespeare is responsible for this very footnote blog.

Compliments of Wikimedia Commons

That is right, a guy that has been dead for over 400 years is responsible for my love of footnotes, because I never knew what the fuck he was talking about and he was obviously brilliant.  The book had all these cool footnotes that let me know just what he was talking about.

Next was T.S. Eliot's Wasteland replete with footnotes explaining the depth of his biblical, mythological and literary references.

Finally, a contemporary author of my own age (alas poor Wallace, I never knew him Horatio, this author of Infinite Jest) glorified the footnote in his novel that begins with a literary knock, knock joke --

Hamlet begins:  Who's There?

Infinite Jest begins:  I am.
Footnote Fetish Blog:  I am Who?

Infinite Jest:  I am the footnote ghost of Hamlet's father.

An Contrarian

Fuck you Grammar Girl -- I know it is supposed to be "A Contrarian"  and I know the "k" sound is a consonant sound requiring the article "a" rather than "an", but I'm being contrary and can you explain to me why the fuck my spell checker says that I'm misspelling Contrarian?  Fucking contrary spell checker.

A Cost Benefit Analysis

In economic terms, the cost benefit analysis of sex in divorce situations usually plays out thusly:

Cost:  Extremely High
Benefit:  Extremely Low

Now it has been over ten years, but it is easy to see the Cost/Benefit Analysis a decade later.



The cost was so high and the benefits were so low, that it made Eliot Spitzer's (former NY state governer) hooker look like the Wal-Mart of sex --

Uhh, yeah.

Capitalization

Dear Grammar Girl,

I was wondering if you capitalize Capitalist -- or is it capitalist?  You know how much I like your quick and dirty tips.

Thanks,

U.S. Wanker

Dear Wanker,

The correct grammatical answer depends on  whether you are a fascist grammarian or a communist grammarian.  Right leaning grammarians capitalize Capitalist because Capital is just Capital and runs the Capital which is also a Capital achievement.  The leftward grammarian goes with the lower case because the only true C is the capital Communist C.  Now if we are talking about socialism, the right will be lower case and the left will be $ocialism.  Don't ever let anyone tell you that politics isn't all about grammar.

Sincerely,

Grammar Girl

Those Evil Mousketeers

I found this old 2007 post on Mousketeer atrocities.

Former Mousketeers commit all kinds of atrocities making Annette's Beach Blanket Bingo pale in comparison: Justin Timberlake sings songs about Sexy Back (is that anal sex guys?) and strips an accused pedophile's sister's blouse, exposing her nipple at the Super Bowl, plus he is apparently boning Cameron Diaz. Britney is flashing her cunt all over the internet. You know things are bad when Christina Aguilera seems like the purest one of the bunch.

Then there are the movie stars. Not to be out done by her Mousketeer counterparts, Lindsay of The Parent Trap flashes, exposes her nipples and is going to be in a new movie as a topless dancer. In a slightly more subtle descent into decadence, Anne Hathaway obliterates her princess-ness with a see-through blouse and starring in movies where she not only gets naked, she gets jiggy. and marries a gay guy.

Rachel Woods

Not to be confused with the black eye-liner, Marilyn Manson loving Rachel Woods -- at least I think so.

Sex and Connection

Since today's HNT post was on the nature of sex and connection, I thought that I needed to stick in a link, a hyperlink, a "connection" if you will to somewhere else out on the Web.  I also wanted an image, because today's Internet user bores quickly without an image.  I'm under no illusion that anyone actually reads.

Yet, if in fact someone is reading, I wanted the footnote to clarify that while there is always a space in between, sex -- when performed well and with heart -- is like a great web post.   Everything links to it.  Emotions, music, likes, dislikes, compassion, finances, love, fitness, spirituality, sleep, orgasms, hope, fear and life itself link us into the web of being.  The space in between is necessary or no connection can be made -- and without a You, the I is solitary and there is no We.